"You see that guy over there?"

As promised, I said I would briefly touch on Pat's ineptitude with the co-eds. For those just joining Hangin' with Humphrey, Pat lives upstairs and is an avid sports fan.

The guys told me that he has never even been kissed. I scoffed at this because he is 19 years old and goes to James Madison University. But I felt bad nonetheless and told him I'd help him out the best I could.

Without even putting much effort in, I've already lost patience. Pat is picky. He went to a formal not too long ago with a co-ed that had the hots for him. I met her at the Dickinthe4skins game the other night and found her to be a very pleasant young co-ed. (I even gave her a kiss on the cheek before we left.) Pat won't really say why he hasn't pursued said co-ed, but one can only assume that he is lacking in confidence.

So after chewing him a new one for his failure to hang out more with said co-ed, I decided it was time to be proactive. No more excuses and no more of Pat being that guy that all the co-eds love because he jumps right in the friend zone. IDIOT!

Pat is a cute guy. Don't get me wrong because I'm hard on the rosy-cheeked fella. Look at him. He's a catch.





I know. He makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside too, but that doesn't mean he can't be a sensual lover for some classy co-ed out there.

So, yesterday at Mrs. Greens (a dining location on campus for lunch) and again at dinner at the East Campus Dining Hall, I took matters into my own hands.

I tend to live my life through the classic sports movie Rudy. (If you haven't seen it you're probably not American and should stop reading this blog.) I only watch it about once every two weeks. But there are a couple scenes where Rudy has to introduce his tutor D-Bob to various co-eds around campus.

Much like Rudy, I went around the JMU dining facilities, asking random co-eds to look over at my buddy Pat and wave. Instant success!

"You see that cute guy over there in the blue polo?" I said. "Yeah, that one. Can you just wave at him, humor him a little. Great, thanks. He doesn't have much confidence right now."

I said nothing about how proficient he was, but one girl at E-Hall said, "Wait, so he hasn't gotten laid at JMU?"

"Whoa, easy," I said.

"I just mean, there's so many whores at this school," she responded.

I honestly don't think she meant it as an insult to Pat, but I suppose it's something for the jolly guy to think about it.

If you know anyone who is ready to make a commitment (or at least give him a kiss on the cheek) with a stand-up character that is a sweetheart and total opposite of JMU frat dudes, please let us know. You can either comment here at Hangin' with Humphrey or send a text message with your name or one of your co-ed friend's names to 804-690-0367. He will promptly friend you on facebook.

If he's not really your type, just lead him on and at least you might get a shot with his better looking, pretty-boy roommate Big Chris -- not to be confused with Chris.



Cheers.