Springfest/WWHD Part 2: Leaving Humphrey

He simply was taking too long. That shouldn't matter anyone who follows this disciple should know that WWHD (What Would Humphrey Do?). I'll tell you what, he would have continued slapping fives and not deserted his friends, unless of course there was the far-outside shot that he might land a co-ed.

Like an idiot, I left him and wandered down the Village Lane, finding Pat (the other hopeless lover), Zach (the slightly homo Mark Sanchez) Chris -- not to be confused with Big Chris -- (the ever-balding) and Mike (that kid from Jersey). Then I ran into Jenna. She is a wily co-ed, who graduated a year ago and her mother is best friends with mine. Jenna is bad news.

So, for awhile I just hung out with Jenna and tried to impress people for her sake. She was hanging with a dude with mean mutton chops. (Our moms probably want us to wed.)



Things got crazy! Asshole students and non-students started throwing beer cans and bottles at each other. Then SWAT moved in and these same assholes, many who didn't get caught, decided it would be smart to throw at the people trying to keep peace.

SWAT moved people away from Village Lane toward Port Republic Road. I was standing with Jenna near the staircase by the Texaco. I noticed a police officer, who had been an arresting officer when my brother and roommates got a gun pulled on them in October. Naturally, being the inquisitive and friendly journalist I am, I thought I would go say hi to the officer. He clearly didn't know who I was and took his baton, shoved it into my chest, knocking me down the hill. I was quickly apprehended by another officer.

I asked the officer if I could speak with a high ranking officer I know. He said yes, but, of course, took me straight to a car and then to jail.

WWHD? Would have stuck with his boys.

See part 3.