The Next Peyton Manning (Part 5)

I tell Humphrey during his next defensive break that I'm looking into a professor assistant's-ship for next year.

"Ohhhh, Humpin' Humphrey would be awesome," Humphrey says in reference to this Web site.

Humphrey realizes what he said.

"That's just un-American, first of all, and that's just gay."

He's raw and I tell him that that saying isn't just pop culture but offensive to some. He'll eventually come around.

I tell Humphrey that I can't go to his brother Pat's baseball game on Sunday at U.Va. (I'm tempted to mock the Charlotteville school, but for the sake of my grade I'll refrain.) His brother plays for Georgia Tech and they have a series in Charlotteville.

I have to film a game of JMU baseball for a class, so I can't go.

"Tell 'em you have gonorrhea!" Humphrey says. "Or diarrhea. It works every time. Or say you have diabetes!"

Humphrey receives a snap when he gets back on the field. He laterals it back to Zach and then sprints up field to the end zone. Zach slings it. (He looks like a well-tanned Mark Sanchez, just smaller and slightly more homosexual.) It's a beautiful throw, but despite some astonishing speed from Humphrey it is about to be intercepted by the student director of JMU intramurals.

Humphrey is forced to play defense on this pass and throws his hand up. It actually is a great play on his part but he puts all his girth into it and lays the poor UREC mini-czar out.

The dickinthe4skins "(or Americans, as Humphrey puts it) 40 hundred and 7; the French -12 for being queers."

It's getting late. Humphrey has told me, "Let's drink some Malt Liquor and get drunk."

More to come. Next blogs will include Pat's ineptitude with co-eds and a belated account of Humphrey's reaction to the NCAA men's national championship Monday night.

Cheers. God Bless America.