SPECIAL: 'Attorney' Weighs In

This letter was originally posted as a comment to the last post. I want to encourage readers to start discussions by commenting on the blog posts. Facebook is good, but we'll drive more people to the blog if everyone becomes a follower (see right and it's easy). The following is in regards to the Dickinthe4skins being left out of the playoffs. Thank you very much for your input Mr. Tarkenton.

Tim,

I'm Chip Tarkenton, a prestigious amateur lawyer specializing in cases that violate intramural sports liberties, and having accidentally stumbled upon your blog in an attempt to check the birth date of former vice president Hubert Humphrey, I believe we have a case here.

Like former Vice President Humphrey, it's evident that we're dealing with another great American here. No, your Humphrey didn't rise from modest beginnings in South Dakota to ascend to the second highest position of power in our great country, but its clear that your Humphrey stands for similar principles; America, football, co-eds, and 'Doin it live.' And America. And that's something we can build on.

V.P. Humphrey


What we have here, boys, is a prime example of intramural sports discrimination. If you scramble up the letters of UREC and add DOMMNIST to it do you know what you get? RED COMMUNIST! This isn't Vietcong University, this is AMERICA we're talking about here! Pardon me if I sound old fashioned but I still believe in a great American world where a portly young man with striking blue eyes can get liquored up and participate in Playoff Intramural AMERICAN Football. This spirited young Patriot they call Humphrey should be worried about a pass rush, not a gross violation of his constitutional rights, clearly protected in the Articles of Confederation. Sign me up boys, let's show these fascist pigs that when you fuck with the Red, White, and Blue, you're always gonna lose.

Chip Tarkenton
(Unlicensed) Attorney at Law
1830L Putter Court, America.